Lost Inspiration...

My last posting was over a month ago. I have been feeling less than inspired to write lately and this is killing me! I enjoy writing; its like a release of tension for myself. I write whatever is going on inside my head, and lately, its been to overwhelmed to put anything down on here...

I am sure that I am not alone when I say this that motherhood is overwhelming in itself. I sometimes feel like I am just above the water, not enough to float comfortably, but enough to keep my head above water. I am at home with the kids all day and am their sole provider more than half of the time. A few weeks ago, I cracked. I will be honest and I cracked. I felt so overwhelmed with everything that I blew my top. I had been taking care of, yet again, two sick kids. My son, who already is very clingy and mommy attached, was at his peak of stalking me. I had been carrying him around in the Ergo carrier all day and I was tired. I couldn't pee alone, let alone sit and enjoy a cup of tea to myself without someone touching me. I didn't feel great myself, with allergies taking over my body, and desperately wanted/needed some assistance. My son, didn't let anyone near him with a 10foot plus pole, with the exception of me and I was going insane. I had a lot of my mind as well with our upcoming move to NY and all the details that surround that and some family issues and I was a my peak.

 I cried...like really, really cried. I was overwhelmed with everything that was going on and just wanted to crawl into a hole and sleep. Crying for me is somewhat of a release; like washing away the mess and starting fresh. I am someone who doesn't just openly express my emotions and usually waits to blow until they all come out like Niagara Falls. I felt better; like much better. I know that I shouldn't fester everything in, but its something that I have done since a child and still, to this day, haven't figured out how to control that.

I have now finally got some inspiration to write again after a little MIA on my behalf. I am excited to write again and also using this as an open, HEY! I am crazy too :) Like my kids, as much as I love them, make me blow too :) I know I am not alone, but for whatever reason, us moms don't like to talk about the hard stuff like this. As if it makes us weak or something. SO, here you go moms...I am not weak, I am strong but have my moments too!