Beauty

Our day started out as a typical day in our house; breakfast, school, etc. My youngest was taking a morning power nap and my daughter was downstairs playing, so I sought the opportunity to take a much needed shower and get ready for the day. I usually have a very small window of time to take a shower without my little one trying to get in with me, so when that small block of time comes, I usually drop everything and take one!

Like I said before, I thought my daughter was downstairs playing in her room. Boy, was I wrong. She ninja'd (think quiet like a ninja) herself upstairs and was in my room playing more quiet than I have ever remembered her playing. Of course she was! Probably because I was not there to talk to or she simply wanted to be sneaky. Most likely the latter of the two as she loves to be sneaky. Its her newest "thing".

Anyway, as I got myself dressed, I shamefully admit that I started bashing on my body. I mean, let face it, it doesn't look like it did when I was a perky 18 year old. Its been beaten; stretched to no return; scarred; hail mark dented; ok you get the picture. Yes, I do have some miracles that this body created, but still, that doesn't make it easier to accept what the aftermath is. I can be downright mean to myself without even saying anything. Just the thoughts that come across my mind and the negativity that I place towards myself, would make anyone upset. But then, without thinking, I started to verbalize my thoughts outloud. FAT, UGH, YUCK, GROSS!!......And then, I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

My daughter watching EVERYTHING I was doing and saying....

I was floored. The look in her eyes was udder confusion. She said, and this is what breaks my heart, Mommy, I think you look fancy. (Thats my C's thing. Everything beautiful is fancy) My heart fell to the floor. I fought back tears. She then lifted her cute butterfly shirt and poked at her tiny little belly and said, Mommy, I am fat too?

I about died.

How do you respond to that? I mean, here I am disrepecting my body and my sweet, innocent, beautiful daughter questions whether or not she's fat? Wow. If I didn't think God was sending me a slap in the face before, well here it is now. HELLO! KATIE!! Wake UP!

As mothers, we really need to think of ways to promote postive body image. I need to start to visualize myself the way my children see me; As she would say it, fancy Mommy. They look up to us and see us as perfect. Is the way that I was talking to, what I thought was, myself today ok? NO! I need to promote positive images of women. That we are NOT all stick figures. That yes, boobies sag and so does skin! That being a size 0 isn't "perfect". That stretch marks are indeed all the rage. Ok, that might be a stretch, but I am trying....

And yet, as I am typing this, I still am having a hard time swallowing all that information down. For me, weight has always been an issue. There is no way that I would ever want these issues for my daugther, so I will try to start now.

I guess this isn't just for moms. All women should love themselves...easier said than done.

If there is one thing that you can take away from reading this, is the quote I think will resonate in my head for the remainder of my life. I heard in August of this year at the Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) conference:

                   Moms of daugthers: dress like you would want your daughter to dress. Remember,  they're watching you all the time. Whether or not you notice. They mimic you; look up to you. So dress and treat yourself with respect.

                  Moms of sons: dress like you'd want your son's future wife to dress. They look to their mom for everything and have much respect for you. This is what they also tend to look for in a future wife.

I am beautiful; You are beautiful; We are all beautiful. Fancy.

Love as if your life depends upon it, because it does.