Ciera's birth story part 1

Tomorrow is my first borns 4th birthday. Wow, I cannot believe that we are almost to 4. Where has these last 4 years went? I mean, I swear it feels like yesterday that I was pregnant with her, in my womb and enjoying all the "1st's" of pregnancy.

I remember during my pregnancy with her, people would tell me to enjoy these little years. I said, yeah, I know, but now, I really truly know. In the blink of an eye, my "baby" has turned into a smart, walking, talking, precious little girl. She brings me joy and happiness everyday. Some days, she is a typical almost 4 year old (read my other posts) however, I am so lucky to have her in my life.

My husband and I were reflecting on 4 years ago when I went into labour. I still remember it as if it was yesterday. Its something I am sure that will remain fresh in my mind until the day I am brought up to heaven. Her birth really changed the both of our lives forever. It made us a family; a unit; strengthed our bonds forever.

Pregnant with C at 23 weeks

Here goes the first part of my first babies birth story:

Four years ago, my sister and I ventured out for Black Friday. Yes, even at 9 months pregnant and my technical due date only 2 weeks away, I went out at 4am to save some cash. Call me crazy, but thats why I brought my sister for back up. She was my bodyguard. I vividly remember her chewing some lady out for being to close to me. I knew I could count on her. We both got lots of shopping done and it was a fun experience for my huge waddling self.

However, a few days prior, I had been "leaking". I called my OB/GYN and she said to go to Labour and Delivery. I was so nervous and excited at the thought of having my baby and finding out the sex that we had waited so long to find out. I had gotten all undressed and prepped. Then the meanest nurse came into my room and double-checked to make sure my water was leaking. She did a quick test and told me it was negative. She explained that a lot of pregnant women pee the pants and don't know it. I was like, REALLY?? You think I peed myself? Dont you think I would know that. The nurse obnoxiously started to tear off all my monitors and said I could leave soon.

I was devastated. I know for a fact, I wasn't peeing my pants. I mean, come on. I was upset with that nurse. She really put a damper on my entire day, hence why I went shopping the following day. Unfortunatley, my leaking continued. It didn't stop throughout my shopping or the following Saturday. It wasn't until that Sunday, I started to feel contractions. They were small at first, then progressively got a bit stronger and more closer. Keith and I were counting them down.

This all started, of course, right as we were getting ready to go watch the Chargers game. For those of you who aren't familiar with my husband, he loves them. Infact, he loves pretty much any sport out there. Picture someone who you think loves sports. Multiply that into an obssesion x10 and you have my husband. We have EVERY sports channel including the Sunday Ticket that gets all NFL football games. He watches ESPN everyday and listens to the radio with it as well. Records games, even though he knows the score, just to watch the goals. Checks websites for trade news, game updates, etc, daily. Yup, I am married to a sports junkie and to go into labour on a Sunday...well, it wasn't pretty. Ultimately, the Chargers lost that game and even 4 years later, I am still being blamed for their loss....yes, I know.

After calling my OB/GYN, she asked for me to come into the hospital. I was getting increasingly stronger contractions with every second that passed in our 15 minute ride to the hospital. Once we got there, I was checked in, monitored up and checked again for my "leaking"...It turns out 3 days ago, I infact was in labour and the mean nurse sent me home. I was "technically" labouring and leaking amniotic fluid for 3 days!! The next 6 hours went really quick....

Tomorrow, I will finish this story.

The "Wow aren't you's...."

So, today I celebrated my 27th birthday. In really cool mom/wife fashion, I celebrated by going grocery shopping with my kiddos. Yes, gone are the days where your birthday really matters and you actually do something that you wouldn't typically do. Those days are long gone, however, I wouldn't trade it for the world. My awesome hubby did pick up some chinese food and baked a cake for me for the 1st time in our over 5 year marriage. Way to go babes!

We were out at Whole Foods today and my "almost 4" year old, daughter, C, told pretty much everyone that it was my birthday and that I am really "old". She asked her daddy how old I was going to be on my birthday. He told her, 27, and my daughter's face sunk to the ground in an AH moment and sighed and said, "wow, thats old!" So, in other words, I had my first of many, mommy is very old moments. I guess to an almost 4 year old, I am pretty stinkin' old. I mean, I am 23 years older than her.

Well, she told this adorable older gentleman, who helped us to the car with our groceries that it was my birthday. (On a side note, must have seen the SOS look on face as my daughter kept saying over and over again thats she was hungry and I NEVER FEED HER and my son throwing all of his snacks over their nice clean swept floors. Ah, motherhood, isn't it all we ever dreamed of??!) He looked a me and said, "Wow, aren't you young to have 2 youngin's". I said, no sir, just was lucky enough to meet the man of my dreams at a younger age and blessed with 2 children afterwards. He was sweet, so I allowed conversation to continue on. He replied, "well I figured you would have wanted to accomplish things before having children."............WAIT, did you really just say that??! I mean, thanks for helping me with my groceries, but so long. You knew me for 30 seconds, maybe and already concluding that I didn't accomplish things?! WOAH, thanks man, but goodbye.

I mean, this is not the first time I have heard this statement before. When Keith and I got married, I was 21. I can't tell you how many times that I got, "are you sure?; "you're just so young"; "so much to accomplish before marriage"...yada yada yada. Sometimes from people in the bridal stores whom I just met minutes earlier. As if there is an age that makes you ok to get married. I mean, when you know, you just know, right?



June 7th 2007


Then in March of 2008 when I got pregnant with C, the next and most "obvious" was, "don't you want to travel before kids"; "life surely ends after children"; "but you're just sooo young". I was 22, in a stable marriage, in a great career with a lovely home over my head. My due date was right after my 23rd birthday. I sometimes felt like no matter what I did or choices that I made in my life, I'd always get those typical reponses as if my numerical age had something to do with my wifely skills or parenting skills. The decision my husband and I made to have a baby, was not a random one; it was a thought out one that we discussed.

1 month before C was born

I feel our lives started after kids. Yes its different,  but better! I have 2 beautiful God given creations that I have the pleasure in parenting. So, to all those people who said, life ends after kids, go suck rocks! Cause you cannot tell me that C's dancing and silly comments about wedgies and N's obession with Elmo and giggles somehow ended my "life".

My 2 amazing pirates

I thought I was past that, "wow aren't you" stage in my life. I am proud young mom. I would wear a shirt that said that, if they had one. I am proud that to all the people who doubted my husband and I, here we stand, stronger than ever 5.5 years later in a kick ass marriage.

Beauty

Our day started out as a typical day in our house; breakfast, school, etc. My youngest was taking a morning power nap and my daughter was downstairs playing, so I sought the opportunity to take a much needed shower and get ready for the day. I usually have a very small window of time to take a shower without my little one trying to get in with me, so when that small block of time comes, I usually drop everything and take one!

Like I said before, I thought my daughter was downstairs playing in her room. Boy, was I wrong. She ninja'd (think quiet like a ninja) herself upstairs and was in my room playing more quiet than I have ever remembered her playing. Of course she was! Probably because I was not there to talk to or she simply wanted to be sneaky. Most likely the latter of the two as she loves to be sneaky. Its her newest "thing".

Anyway, as I got myself dressed, I shamefully admit that I started bashing on my body. I mean, let face it, it doesn't look like it did when I was a perky 18 year old. Its been beaten; stretched to no return; scarred; hail mark dented; ok you get the picture. Yes, I do have some miracles that this body created, but still, that doesn't make it easier to accept what the aftermath is. I can be downright mean to myself without even saying anything. Just the thoughts that come across my mind and the negativity that I place towards myself, would make anyone upset. But then, without thinking, I started to verbalize my thoughts outloud. FAT, UGH, YUCK, GROSS!!......And then, I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

My daughter watching EVERYTHING I was doing and saying....

I was floored. The look in her eyes was udder confusion. She said, and this is what breaks my heart, Mommy, I think you look fancy. (Thats my C's thing. Everything beautiful is fancy) My heart fell to the floor. I fought back tears. She then lifted her cute butterfly shirt and poked at her tiny little belly and said, Mommy, I am fat too?

I about died.

How do you respond to that? I mean, here I am disrepecting my body and my sweet, innocent, beautiful daughter questions whether or not she's fat? Wow. If I didn't think God was sending me a slap in the face before, well here it is now. HELLO! KATIE!! Wake UP!

As mothers, we really need to think of ways to promote postive body image. I need to start to visualize myself the way my children see me; As she would say it, fancy Mommy. They look up to us and see us as perfect. Is the way that I was talking to, what I thought was, myself today ok? NO! I need to promote positive images of women. That we are NOT all stick figures. That yes, boobies sag and so does skin! That being a size 0 isn't "perfect". That stretch marks are indeed all the rage. Ok, that might be a stretch, but I am trying....

And yet, as I am typing this, I still am having a hard time swallowing all that information down. For me, weight has always been an issue. There is no way that I would ever want these issues for my daugther, so I will try to start now.

I guess this isn't just for moms. All women should love themselves...easier said than done.

If there is one thing that you can take away from reading this, is the quote I think will resonate in my head for the remainder of my life. I heard in August of this year at the Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) conference:

                   Moms of daugthers: dress like you would want your daughter to dress. Remember,  they're watching you all the time. Whether or not you notice. They mimic you; look up to you. So dress and treat yourself with respect.

                  Moms of sons: dress like you'd want your son's future wife to dress. They look to their mom for everything and have much respect for you. This is what they also tend to look for in a future wife.

I am beautiful; You are beautiful; We are all beautiful. Fancy.

Love as if your life depends upon it, because it does.

Friendships

I am approaching my 27th birthday at the end of this month and got to thinking about all the people that I have encountered throughout my short time on earth. I survived all the years of school. Yes, I say survived because those middle school and few years of high school were somewhat of a soap opera ordeal. I'm sure you can all relate. Anywho, even though I met so many people, I only have a handful of people who I still keep in contact with. I mean, really keep in contact with. Not via facebook or email, but legitimatly keep in touch with.

There is one particular person who I can say is still my friend after over 20 years of friendship. Its amazing how fast those years flew by. I mean, it feels like yesterday when I think of all the memories we shared. Our concerts, dance-a-thons, all nighters, slurpees and boys are things that keep dear to my heart. I hope that one day, my daughter or son have friendships like this that they can look back on and smile.

The beauty of Facebook is that we can reconnect with people whom we haven't seen in years. See how their lives turned out and possibly spark up a friendship again after separation. Or simply keep in contact with family too. Share your photos of kids, events, etc with all of them. But when you really think about it, its nothing more than an update; a smiget of whats going on in their lives. It's not even cracking the surface.

With that being said, I am so thankful for my friendships. I am not someone who has loads of friends. I have a few really close people that I can be myself with and really talk to. I cherish them like I cherish a really, really, REALLY good piece of chocolate (You totally know what I am thinking of <3) They make my life eaiser. Friends really do. I can relax, be myself, chat and get whatevers off my mind. I can be that for them too. Its a balancing act; give and take. Every mom needs a friend.

Its also interesting to look back and remember the friends that came into your life and for whatever reason, are no longer a part of your life. For me, I have a few people who drifted away, but the memories of our fun times still live on. Some people who drifted away, still not really sure why or how we disconnected. Its funny how life is like that sometimes.

Its so fun to watch my almost 4 year old's friendships develop. Watch how they interact, get along and play. I want so bad for my daugther to be a kind, loving, Godly friend. I know it will take time, but I hope that she finds that one friend for her where they're inseperable. Someone she can tell her secrets too, cry with and share memories that will last a lifetime.

I find it amazing how fast your youth passes you by. If I could rewind the times where my bestie and I were swimming at the rec center, having sleepovers & being a mall rat, I would. I'd cherish it more. Not be in such a rush to grow up. It was such a carefree life. With that being said, I love my life now and wouldn't change a thing.

Thankful Month of November

If you didn't already know, I am Canadian. I have lived in the US for 12 years now, so technically only celebrated Thanksgiving in November since then. We Canadians celebrate in October. Same thing, the turkey, cranberries, stuffing, etc, just different month. When November rolled around, it got me thinking, why do we only take one measly day to give thanks for the things we have? Don't you think that we should be thankful the other 364 days of the year?

I try to teach my children about being thankful, even for the little things. Things that we take forgranted. Like power; water; food...you get my drift. Everyday, I have my oldest, C, say something that she is thankful for at night. Usually its her friends, or Minnie Mouse (yes, Minnie Mouse) but lately, I have tried to have her understand how good she's got it. I've explained about other children, even children she may know, who aren't as fortunate as her. Who don't have the "special sqeezy fruits" or LeapPad Explorers. I want my daughter to grateful. So, we say simple things like how were thankful for our yummy meal, or that we can stay warm at night.

For the 2nd year in a row, were going to have C pick out a toy to donate to Toys for Tots. She can pick whatever she thinks someone would love and give it away. I know how hard the concept of other kids not having things is hard for an almost 4 year old to grasp, but I think its needed.

I know I am not the best at thinking about all the blessings I have. I sometimes can focus on what I "need" or "want" and don't look at the big picture. We, as a society, can get so fixated on what we don't have and what we just have to have, that we forget to be thankful for that we already have. Bigger and better or faster and smarter aren't always what we need.

This month, via my facebook page, am writing 1 thing I am thankful for a day for the month of November. I am going to try to keep it going for 365 days in my journal. I know I have way more than 365 things that I can be thankful for but its a start. Going to also try to think outside the box. Things that I tend to overlook. Hope this mission will work...I feel that if I am going to try to preach thankfulness to my children, I must start to think of the things I am thankful for too. Like the saying, you must practice what you preach.