Reflection on 2012

Wow! Can you believe that its almost 2013?! Wow! I swear that it wasn't too long ago that I was thinking, woah, its almost 2012. This year has really flown by. I swear, as I have gotten older, time flew by significantly faster than when I was a child. I just remember the time during the summer school break felt like an internity. Those months now come and go as the wind blows!

This year was a pretty great year for my family. We had some fun times and celebrated a lot of 1st'! Also the neat thing is too that there is just so much to come this next year too. Next year, the hubs and I will be Aunts and Uncles! How cool is that. C & N will be cousins and I get to have an excuse to buy little baby stuff again. I know my kiddos aren't that old yet, but I truly miss those little helpless months where they are so tiny & little. Also, we will be moving! As of right now, not sure where that will be, however, if my dear friend, who is also a Coastie wife, had it her way, we would be headed back out west to Oregon. If you'd like to enjoy her blog on why she loves shameless plugs about her demands on us going to OR, I've attached the link. Its pretty funny! Hubs and I will also celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary. Not to mention, birthdays and other exciting things to come. So much to look forward to!

This year started with a lot of my youngest's 1st. He started to sit up, crawl and eat big boy foods. Its amazing how quickly he transistioned throughout the stages. My boy was really getting big so fast. He also celebrated his 1st birthday and learned to walk. (Of course while I was gone...read on) He also started to speak words like, Elmo, trash, choo choo and uh oh. He so amazingly different than my daughter in every way. Such a snuggler and mamas boy. Hes incredibly smart and learning something everyday.


March 2012



This year I also celebrated my 1st Mother's day with both my kiddos. We had a nice brunch and played outside. Thats how our family celebrates things! We are always outside, if the temperature is good. Nothing better than having mother's day with a complete family. All the love you recieve from your children is overwhemling. Its so nice to feel appreciated.

Mothers Day 2012

June of this year, we had to say goodbye to our "family" friends as they were transferring to OR. This family is "our" family. The ones you can be yourself with and spend all day with. It wasn't unsual to have my friend show up, open the door and say, Ok I am here so I don't hurt my child. We co-parented and I love her children as if they're my own. It was an unspoken rule that they were always welcome over for supper that night. The guys would geek it up and the girls would chit chat. It was a match. One of the hardest times of this year was saying goodbye to them all. I know it won't be forever, but still very difficult. They made such an impression on our lives as a family that we are forever grateful for them.







This year also marked the 1st time EVER that I left either one of the kids for an extended period of time. I was lucky enough to be able to attend the MOPS convention in Dallas, TX with a great friend. It was so refreshing and I had such a wonderful time recharging my mom/wife battery. I also was able to connect with M so much that weekend. We got to know each other on a different level (that happens when you share a hotel room and both mamas are breastfeeding and need to pump *smile*) I will always remember that weekend we shared.

Keith and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. What an accomplishment for us! I remember when we got married and I was 21, I know people had there doubts. But whatever life has thrown us, we have just came back from it 100 times stronger. I love him more now than I did on our wedding day over 5 years ago. I know he we put in my life on purpose and I am so thankful for that. He is rock, go-to, love, back bone etc for me. I don't know where my life would be without him.

*As I tried to find a picture of just him and I, its non-exsistant. Its all with kiddos. So please excuse me, promise next time I will have one!

Lastly, we celebrated 4 amazing years with my daughter. She is more beautiful, smarter and funny everyday. She keeps me on my toes and gets me out of bed every morning <---literally 6am. I love discovering life with her and teaching her all new things. She started dance and school this year and I love where that is going in her life. She's my twin visually, but Daddy's personality. She keeps me going and if I am right, she definitely will have her Daddy's humor.

What an amazing year. There are so many other things that I did this year but its too long to type. Many summer days at the Chespeake Bay. Lots of popsicles and juice boxes. Few tears and hard goodbyes; Plently of smiles and laughter; So many memories that 2012 will have in my heart forever.

Christmas Ornament Fun

Today, to get into the holiday spirt, the kids and I made cinnamon salt dough ornaments. I never have made cinnamon ones before, but I thought, what the hey, it can't hurt. Besides, these are SO simple to make and so much fun for them as well. Heres the recipe, just incase you were curious!

Cinnamon Salt Dough Ornaments

2 cups flour
1 cup warm water
1 cup salt

Optional: (but makes your house smell absoutely amazing)
4 tbsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg

Preheat oven 325F. Mix dry ingredients and slowly add water and mix with spoon. Then dig your hands in there and voila! you have this dough you can play with and create fun ornaments. Dont forget to poke a hole in the top to add string for the tree. Bake on cookie sheet for 1 hour and let cool down. Paint to decorate or leave as is.


We made christmas trees, stars, hearts and gingerbread boys. And in the spirt of Christmas, C through in some Thomas the Trains as well...long story short, the girl loves her trains. N enjoyed himself as well. Sat and "cut" shapes out of the dough. Mostly, he just enjoyed smashing his hands in the dough and picking pieces out to show me. C, well she was intense. As if these ornaments were going to go on the christmas tree in Rockefeller center. She had to have everything perfect and fancy. I just love her spirit.

He was just showing me his sprinkles

Look mom!



Our ornaments. We will be painting them tomorrow



Christmas & what it really means

As December approaches, you can't help but notice Christmas is coming. I mean, its everywhere you turn. From the commericals on tv, posters in the stores, loads of catalogs arriving in your mail (or is that just me), etc, its hard not to notice that its coming soon. What is starteling to me, is that its really becoming very in your face about all the "stuff" you "need" for Christmas.

One commerical in particular is for a car. A husband (boyfriend, baby-daddy) buys his wife (girlfriend, baby mamma) a new car. It happens to be a smart car. She hugs him and looks thankful, but then another car, I believe a Buick drives by and she is immediately drooling over that car, instead of the one that her significant other bought. Looks back at him dissapointed. What sort of message is that conveying? That even if you buy your spouse a car, they're really not satisified? (On a lighter note, I can understand why the woman would be drooling over another car. I mean, really, Smart Car??! What respectable man buys one of those?? But stilll...thought that counts right?)

Shouldn't Christmas be more than cars, jewelery and all the glitz? Why are we so obsessed with stuff? Why don't we see the big picture here? What is Christmas really about?

Christmas, on a spirtual level, is to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Its his birthday, not ours. Shouldn't our gifts be for him? Like showing him our love for others and reading His word?

Another way to look at it, isn't Christmas about spending time with those you love? Time is such a wonderful gift that we don't always give. Sharing food and genuinely loving one another.

Don't get me wrong, I love to buy gifts for others. I love looking for that one special gift that shows the reciepent that I really put thought into it. Watching them open it and seeing their face makes me happy. However, I feel that there is a line of too much Christmas and sometimes we toy with that. Over the top gifts, jewelery, cars, vacations...What happened to creative gifts from the heart?

I hate this time of the year for all the buy this, buy that, save 80% now!!, look your wife wants this $1000 ring!! BUY BUY  BUY! everytime I watch tv or venture into a shopping place.

I hope to instill in my children that Christmas isn't all about stuff. I plan to teach them the real reason for Christmas and yes they will be recieving gifts, but on a controlled basis. My husband and I used the Something to Wear, Something to Read, Something they want, Something they need theory. Its our first time doing this. It might just stick with us for awhile. I really liked shopping with that in mind.

C's Pinkalicious 4th Birthday

Well, last week, was my babies 4th birthday. I was so excited to write a birth story about her. I feel like it was just yesterday that I carried her around in my belly. I swear that 4 years just magically appeared out of nowhere and BAM, here we are.

Every year we let C pick what kind of birthday she wants. This year, to my ut-most suprise, she wanted a Pinkalicious birthday. For those of you who aren't aware, she is NOT girly or well wasn't girly. Not too much into pink, girly stuff or anything of that nature. However, lately she has been tapping into her girly side. So, we had a super pink party! She invited a few friends over to celebrate and play. I think it was a great success. I love planning parties and celebrating with people, so I was totally in my element. C and friends liked the games and food. Go figure....

C and her food!

MMM pink snacks!

I read the Silverlicious story, so that everyone could know who Pinkalicious was

We decorated fairy wands to find the candy outside

Pink cupcakes, just like in the book!

Ciera's Birth Story part 2

So, yesterday I left off with me finally be admitted into the hospital with a confirmed torn amniotic sac! I knew I had been peeing my pants! (If you've just tuned in, please refer to the previous blog.) My contractions were becoming very strong, and even though I was in labour, my doctor needed to speed up the process with pitocin. Because of the tear for a few days, myself as well as baby, were susceptable to infections, so they needed her out as soon as they could!

When the medication started to take place, I swear I could not do this anymore. I started to become very internal and kept my eyes closed. In the meantime, my "entourage" had shown up. They said they heard me screaming from out in the waiting room. I was in the last room down a long hall and through the doors was the waiting room. I don't remember being that loud, but apprarently I was. HEHE!
Prior to being in labour, I knew I wanted a natural labour. I wanted to be in control the whole way and feel everything. Also, the appeal of taking a shower post-labour, sounded really nice to me. I told the nurses and doctor, who really supported my decision, not to offer any pain medications to me. I was doing really well and really digging deep until I reached about 7 centimeters.

I decided to move to the jacuzzi tub. The nurse filled it up with hot water and I proceed to get in. Walked through the room, stark naked, and got into the tub. Immediately, I relaxed and was able to gain control again. I have never felt better during labour. I think this was my lifesaver; helped me get to where I needed to be going. In 45 mins, I dilated 3 centimeters. I told the nurse that I felt like I was ready to push. Stood up and started pushing. She said, WAIT! Dont' push!! REALLY!?! Tell a labouring woman not to push...you really cannot help it. I walked back to the bed and bled the entire way. I felt so nervous and scared. I knew what was about to happen.

My doctor came over and said, alright, give it a try. I pushed with every being in my body. I swear, i was going to burst! Anyone who says the ring of fire doesn't hurt like hell, is a big liar! I have 6 solid pushes and then my doctor became very serious. She said her heart rate was dropping so I needed to change postions. I told her that I was so uncomfortable on my side, but she said, Please DO it anyways. I saw by the look in her eyes, she meant buisness, so I followed her. Flipped again to the other said and she said, I need to get her out. Do you need me to explain the procedure and risks? I said no, I trust your judgement and she got the vaccum extractor out. On a side note, I was really lucky that I had the same doctor who took care of me throughout my entire pregnancy, deliver my baby. I really loved her a lot. She was calm and very detailed and caring.

I gave 2 more pushes and along with the vaccum, my baby came into this world at 8:56pm on Sunday November 30th 2008. The baby, (we didn't know the gender yet), was laid on my chest and Keith said, we have a little girl. I was so suprised. I thought all a long, we were having a boy :) Floods of emotions swept over me and I looked into her little eyes and said, why hello Ciera Marie, I am your mommy. My entourage came into the room in full tears and admired our beautiful creation. I remember just staring at her for a long time. She weighed in at 7 13oz.  She was perfect; beautitful and I saw her life flash before my eyes.

Our new family.

As all this beautiful family bonding was going on, my doctor delivered my placenta and stitched me up. From the vaccum, I tore a 3rd degree laceration. It was pretty gnarly. Then she explained from the leak for days, I had developed a placental infection and Ciera and I had to be put on antibiotics. She looked at my chart and saw the nurse discharged me and my claims of leaking. I told her the entire situation. She explained that because of the nurse, I got this infection as Ciera should had been delievered days before. I was lucky it was just a simple infection. The doctor did get that nurse in trouble. Kind of had my neiner neiner neiner moment for a second.

Being weighed. What a cutie already!

Due to the infection, I had to stay an extra day in the hospital. I didn't sleep a wink the night Ciera was born. I was on a crazy high and she and I slept in bed together all night long. Keith on the other hand, slept. The following night was a blur. Wow, Ciera didn't sleep, neither did I. It was my, oh my goodness, I have a newborn night. Crazy, chaotic and exhausting.

Few hours after we got home.

Fast forward 4 years later, I am lucky to have a pretty awesome little girl. She is kind, sweet, smart, strongwilled and stubborn. She loves to dance, sing, colour pictures and play. She is still a daddy's girl and will drop me at the drop of a dime for her daddy. She loves her baby brother and is a great big sister. Its been a great 4 years and cannot wait to see whats in store next.

November 2012

Ciera's birth story part 1

Tomorrow is my first borns 4th birthday. Wow, I cannot believe that we are almost to 4. Where has these last 4 years went? I mean, I swear it feels like yesterday that I was pregnant with her, in my womb and enjoying all the "1st's" of pregnancy.

I remember during my pregnancy with her, people would tell me to enjoy these little years. I said, yeah, I know, but now, I really truly know. In the blink of an eye, my "baby" has turned into a smart, walking, talking, precious little girl. She brings me joy and happiness everyday. Some days, she is a typical almost 4 year old (read my other posts) however, I am so lucky to have her in my life.

My husband and I were reflecting on 4 years ago when I went into labour. I still remember it as if it was yesterday. Its something I am sure that will remain fresh in my mind until the day I am brought up to heaven. Her birth really changed the both of our lives forever. It made us a family; a unit; strengthed our bonds forever.

Pregnant with C at 23 weeks

Here goes the first part of my first babies birth story:

Four years ago, my sister and I ventured out for Black Friday. Yes, even at 9 months pregnant and my technical due date only 2 weeks away, I went out at 4am to save some cash. Call me crazy, but thats why I brought my sister for back up. She was my bodyguard. I vividly remember her chewing some lady out for being to close to me. I knew I could count on her. We both got lots of shopping done and it was a fun experience for my huge waddling self.

However, a few days prior, I had been "leaking". I called my OB/GYN and she said to go to Labour and Delivery. I was so nervous and excited at the thought of having my baby and finding out the sex that we had waited so long to find out. I had gotten all undressed and prepped. Then the meanest nurse came into my room and double-checked to make sure my water was leaking. She did a quick test and told me it was negative. She explained that a lot of pregnant women pee the pants and don't know it. I was like, REALLY?? You think I peed myself? Dont you think I would know that. The nurse obnoxiously started to tear off all my monitors and said I could leave soon.

I was devastated. I know for a fact, I wasn't peeing my pants. I mean, come on. I was upset with that nurse. She really put a damper on my entire day, hence why I went shopping the following day. Unfortunatley, my leaking continued. It didn't stop throughout my shopping or the following Saturday. It wasn't until that Sunday, I started to feel contractions. They were small at first, then progressively got a bit stronger and more closer. Keith and I were counting them down.

This all started, of course, right as we were getting ready to go watch the Chargers game. For those of you who aren't familiar with my husband, he loves them. Infact, he loves pretty much any sport out there. Picture someone who you think loves sports. Multiply that into an obssesion x10 and you have my husband. We have EVERY sports channel including the Sunday Ticket that gets all NFL football games. He watches ESPN everyday and listens to the radio with it as well. Records games, even though he knows the score, just to watch the goals. Checks websites for trade news, game updates, etc, daily. Yup, I am married to a sports junkie and to go into labour on a Sunday...well, it wasn't pretty. Ultimately, the Chargers lost that game and even 4 years later, I am still being blamed for their loss....yes, I know.

After calling my OB/GYN, she asked for me to come into the hospital. I was getting increasingly stronger contractions with every second that passed in our 15 minute ride to the hospital. Once we got there, I was checked in, monitored up and checked again for my "leaking"...It turns out 3 days ago, I infact was in labour and the mean nurse sent me home. I was "technically" labouring and leaking amniotic fluid for 3 days!! The next 6 hours went really quick....

Tomorrow, I will finish this story.

The "Wow aren't you's...."

So, today I celebrated my 27th birthday. In really cool mom/wife fashion, I celebrated by going grocery shopping with my kiddos. Yes, gone are the days where your birthday really matters and you actually do something that you wouldn't typically do. Those days are long gone, however, I wouldn't trade it for the world. My awesome hubby did pick up some chinese food and baked a cake for me for the 1st time in our over 5 year marriage. Way to go babes!

We were out at Whole Foods today and my "almost 4" year old, daughter, C, told pretty much everyone that it was my birthday and that I am really "old". She asked her daddy how old I was going to be on my birthday. He told her, 27, and my daughter's face sunk to the ground in an AH moment and sighed and said, "wow, thats old!" So, in other words, I had my first of many, mommy is very old moments. I guess to an almost 4 year old, I am pretty stinkin' old. I mean, I am 23 years older than her.

Well, she told this adorable older gentleman, who helped us to the car with our groceries that it was my birthday. (On a side note, must have seen the SOS look on face as my daughter kept saying over and over again thats she was hungry and I NEVER FEED HER and my son throwing all of his snacks over their nice clean swept floors. Ah, motherhood, isn't it all we ever dreamed of??!) He looked a me and said, "Wow, aren't you young to have 2 youngin's". I said, no sir, just was lucky enough to meet the man of my dreams at a younger age and blessed with 2 children afterwards. He was sweet, so I allowed conversation to continue on. He replied, "well I figured you would have wanted to accomplish things before having children."............WAIT, did you really just say that??! I mean, thanks for helping me with my groceries, but so long. You knew me for 30 seconds, maybe and already concluding that I didn't accomplish things?! WOAH, thanks man, but goodbye.

I mean, this is not the first time I have heard this statement before. When Keith and I got married, I was 21. I can't tell you how many times that I got, "are you sure?; "you're just so young"; "so much to accomplish before marriage"...yada yada yada. Sometimes from people in the bridal stores whom I just met minutes earlier. As if there is an age that makes you ok to get married. I mean, when you know, you just know, right?



June 7th 2007


Then in March of 2008 when I got pregnant with C, the next and most "obvious" was, "don't you want to travel before kids"; "life surely ends after children"; "but you're just sooo young". I was 22, in a stable marriage, in a great career with a lovely home over my head. My due date was right after my 23rd birthday. I sometimes felt like no matter what I did or choices that I made in my life, I'd always get those typical reponses as if my numerical age had something to do with my wifely skills or parenting skills. The decision my husband and I made to have a baby, was not a random one; it was a thought out one that we discussed.

1 month before C was born

I feel our lives started after kids. Yes its different,  but better! I have 2 beautiful God given creations that I have the pleasure in parenting. So, to all those people who said, life ends after kids, go suck rocks! Cause you cannot tell me that C's dancing and silly comments about wedgies and N's obession with Elmo and giggles somehow ended my "life".

My 2 amazing pirates

I thought I was past that, "wow aren't you" stage in my life. I am proud young mom. I would wear a shirt that said that, if they had one. I am proud that to all the people who doubted my husband and I, here we stand, stronger than ever 5.5 years later in a kick ass marriage.

Beauty

Our day started out as a typical day in our house; breakfast, school, etc. My youngest was taking a morning power nap and my daughter was downstairs playing, so I sought the opportunity to take a much needed shower and get ready for the day. I usually have a very small window of time to take a shower without my little one trying to get in with me, so when that small block of time comes, I usually drop everything and take one!

Like I said before, I thought my daughter was downstairs playing in her room. Boy, was I wrong. She ninja'd (think quiet like a ninja) herself upstairs and was in my room playing more quiet than I have ever remembered her playing. Of course she was! Probably because I was not there to talk to or she simply wanted to be sneaky. Most likely the latter of the two as she loves to be sneaky. Its her newest "thing".

Anyway, as I got myself dressed, I shamefully admit that I started bashing on my body. I mean, let face it, it doesn't look like it did when I was a perky 18 year old. Its been beaten; stretched to no return; scarred; hail mark dented; ok you get the picture. Yes, I do have some miracles that this body created, but still, that doesn't make it easier to accept what the aftermath is. I can be downright mean to myself without even saying anything. Just the thoughts that come across my mind and the negativity that I place towards myself, would make anyone upset. But then, without thinking, I started to verbalize my thoughts outloud. FAT, UGH, YUCK, GROSS!!......And then, I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

My daughter watching EVERYTHING I was doing and saying....

I was floored. The look in her eyes was udder confusion. She said, and this is what breaks my heart, Mommy, I think you look fancy. (Thats my C's thing. Everything beautiful is fancy) My heart fell to the floor. I fought back tears. She then lifted her cute butterfly shirt and poked at her tiny little belly and said, Mommy, I am fat too?

I about died.

How do you respond to that? I mean, here I am disrepecting my body and my sweet, innocent, beautiful daughter questions whether or not she's fat? Wow. If I didn't think God was sending me a slap in the face before, well here it is now. HELLO! KATIE!! Wake UP!

As mothers, we really need to think of ways to promote postive body image. I need to start to visualize myself the way my children see me; As she would say it, fancy Mommy. They look up to us and see us as perfect. Is the way that I was talking to, what I thought was, myself today ok? NO! I need to promote positive images of women. That we are NOT all stick figures. That yes, boobies sag and so does skin! That being a size 0 isn't "perfect". That stretch marks are indeed all the rage. Ok, that might be a stretch, but I am trying....

And yet, as I am typing this, I still am having a hard time swallowing all that information down. For me, weight has always been an issue. There is no way that I would ever want these issues for my daugther, so I will try to start now.

I guess this isn't just for moms. All women should love themselves...easier said than done.

If there is one thing that you can take away from reading this, is the quote I think will resonate in my head for the remainder of my life. I heard in August of this year at the Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) conference:

                   Moms of daugthers: dress like you would want your daughter to dress. Remember,  they're watching you all the time. Whether or not you notice. They mimic you; look up to you. So dress and treat yourself with respect.

                  Moms of sons: dress like you'd want your son's future wife to dress. They look to their mom for everything and have much respect for you. This is what they also tend to look for in a future wife.

I am beautiful; You are beautiful; We are all beautiful. Fancy.

Love as if your life depends upon it, because it does.

Friendships

I am approaching my 27th birthday at the end of this month and got to thinking about all the people that I have encountered throughout my short time on earth. I survived all the years of school. Yes, I say survived because those middle school and few years of high school were somewhat of a soap opera ordeal. I'm sure you can all relate. Anywho, even though I met so many people, I only have a handful of people who I still keep in contact with. I mean, really keep in contact with. Not via facebook or email, but legitimatly keep in touch with.

There is one particular person who I can say is still my friend after over 20 years of friendship. Its amazing how fast those years flew by. I mean, it feels like yesterday when I think of all the memories we shared. Our concerts, dance-a-thons, all nighters, slurpees and boys are things that keep dear to my heart. I hope that one day, my daughter or son have friendships like this that they can look back on and smile.

The beauty of Facebook is that we can reconnect with people whom we haven't seen in years. See how their lives turned out and possibly spark up a friendship again after separation. Or simply keep in contact with family too. Share your photos of kids, events, etc with all of them. But when you really think about it, its nothing more than an update; a smiget of whats going on in their lives. It's not even cracking the surface.

With that being said, I am so thankful for my friendships. I am not someone who has loads of friends. I have a few really close people that I can be myself with and really talk to. I cherish them like I cherish a really, really, REALLY good piece of chocolate (You totally know what I am thinking of <3) They make my life eaiser. Friends really do. I can relax, be myself, chat and get whatevers off my mind. I can be that for them too. Its a balancing act; give and take. Every mom needs a friend.

Its also interesting to look back and remember the friends that came into your life and for whatever reason, are no longer a part of your life. For me, I have a few people who drifted away, but the memories of our fun times still live on. Some people who drifted away, still not really sure why or how we disconnected. Its funny how life is like that sometimes.

Its so fun to watch my almost 4 year old's friendships develop. Watch how they interact, get along and play. I want so bad for my daugther to be a kind, loving, Godly friend. I know it will take time, but I hope that she finds that one friend for her where they're inseperable. Someone she can tell her secrets too, cry with and share memories that will last a lifetime.

I find it amazing how fast your youth passes you by. If I could rewind the times where my bestie and I were swimming at the rec center, having sleepovers & being a mall rat, I would. I'd cherish it more. Not be in such a rush to grow up. It was such a carefree life. With that being said, I love my life now and wouldn't change a thing.

Thankful Month of November

If you didn't already know, I am Canadian. I have lived in the US for 12 years now, so technically only celebrated Thanksgiving in November since then. We Canadians celebrate in October. Same thing, the turkey, cranberries, stuffing, etc, just different month. When November rolled around, it got me thinking, why do we only take one measly day to give thanks for the things we have? Don't you think that we should be thankful the other 364 days of the year?

I try to teach my children about being thankful, even for the little things. Things that we take forgranted. Like power; water; food...you get my drift. Everyday, I have my oldest, C, say something that she is thankful for at night. Usually its her friends, or Minnie Mouse (yes, Minnie Mouse) but lately, I have tried to have her understand how good she's got it. I've explained about other children, even children she may know, who aren't as fortunate as her. Who don't have the "special sqeezy fruits" or LeapPad Explorers. I want my daughter to grateful. So, we say simple things like how were thankful for our yummy meal, or that we can stay warm at night.

For the 2nd year in a row, were going to have C pick out a toy to donate to Toys for Tots. She can pick whatever she thinks someone would love and give it away. I know how hard the concept of other kids not having things is hard for an almost 4 year old to grasp, but I think its needed.

I know I am not the best at thinking about all the blessings I have. I sometimes can focus on what I "need" or "want" and don't look at the big picture. We, as a society, can get so fixated on what we don't have and what we just have to have, that we forget to be thankful for that we already have. Bigger and better or faster and smarter aren't always what we need.

This month, via my facebook page, am writing 1 thing I am thankful for a day for the month of November. I am going to try to keep it going for 365 days in my journal. I know I have way more than 365 things that I can be thankful for but its a start. Going to also try to think outside the box. Things that I tend to overlook. Hope this mission will work...I feel that if I am going to try to preach thankfulness to my children, I must start to think of the things I am thankful for too. Like the saying, you must practice what you preach.

Time for Myself

After chatting with the hubs this weekend (we had lots of time to talk due to Hurricane Sandy), he said, why don't you workout or something. After restraining myself to not glare daggers at him, I said, because I have SO much other stuff that needs to be finished before I even think of doing anything like that. He replied, why don't you make time for yourself? I thought to myself, why don't I? I mean, I have LOTS of things to do as a stay at home mom and wife however when do I do something truly for ME?

I got to thinking, well, I love to sew. BUT when was the last thing I made for myself. Every project over the last year or so, I have made for my children. I love to read, but lets be real, I never get time to just sit and read with a 3 year old and 1 year old around. I love to bake and yet again, I am always baking for the other critters in my house. Man, this mothering gig is pretty self-less....

Don't get me wrong, by the time 8pm rolls around, I am so spent or tired that I finally take "me" time. Usually the time is me lounging on the couch trying to keep my eyes open. Sometimes I wish I could make more time in the day. 24 hours is just not enough, I swear! Between homeschooling, dance lessons, MOPS, playdates, cleaning the house, cooking meals, etc, I am not sure where my time goes. Sometimes, I feel that I am lost in the mix. Not in the directional sense, but in a what makes me, me, sense,

I learned at the Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) Convention this year, that we mothers, including myself, lose who we are in our children. I am more than, C & N's mom or that lady who looks tired all the time. I am Katie. A woman who loves her husband; loves God. Who loves to read books and sew things. Enjoys dancing and letting my hair down. Loves to spend time with her family and just let loose. I also would love to one day learn to scuba dive. Also would love to run a half-marathon. Its amazing what we learn about ourselves when we think about ourselves. (does that make sense). That weekend, I learned so much about ME and my fellow moms.

So, what I am getting to is that I, Katie, am going to make a HUGE effort to carve out me time. Whether that me time be 30mins or maybe, if I am real lucky 90mins (during kiddos naps) and take that time to do something for me. Just for me. Not this "well, it could be for me, but the kids really like this"....NO! Just me. I recommend that all moms everywhere be a little selfish when you can and do something that makes you happy. Makes you, you.

Motherhood is a wonderful gift that God in trusted us with, but doesn't mean that we cannot be Katie or insert your name here. I think that we would all be better mothers because of that.

Nikolas' 15 month check-up

First off, I will start by saying I cannot believe that my son is 15 months old. It seems like yesterday, he was in my tummy and I could feel him kicking me all the time. It was a wonderful feeling having him in-utero. Not to mention, the wonderful birthing experience of his. Looking into his big eyes the first time I laid eyes on him was a feeling I can never forget.

Nikolas' first picture

With that being said, I cannot believe that 15 months have passed. He has really become quite an amazing little boy. Nikolas is so funny, hammish, smart, etc...I could go on and on about my son. I love to watch him grow and learn new things everyday. His new sayings are, "Elwo Ducts". Translation: Elmo's Ducks. He loves to watch Elmo's Ducks on my computer. Keith and I created a monster now everytime I go towards any electronic device, Elwo Ducts. ELWO ELWO ELWO!!

My boo at 6mths

My son is also quite the flirt. He loves to show off for all the women around him and flash his big blue eyes :) Ooooh man, ladies watch out!

Nikolas was 22lbs 10.5oz and 31.5inches long Wednesday. He has almost tripled his birth weight. He loves to eat bananas, yogurt and apples!

My son means the world to me. I have my snuggle bunny, mommas boy who loves to just be with me. Loves to be carried in my carrier, sleep on my chest, and share his snacks with me. Loves his big sister and idolizes all that she does. Wants to be just like her.

Nikolas as a pirate!

2 steps forwards....3 steps back

Do you ever feel like sometimes that you're ahead? Like woah, the house looks amazing! I can sit and relax!! The kids are peacefully sleeping and I can read my kindle? ....And then you wake up!

I swear lately, I have been moving backwards in direction. I will get something off your list accomplished for the day and then BAM, I look around and thing, REALLY, did I get something done or was I just dreaming?

I am a notorious list maker. There, I said it. I love making To Do Lists. I feel good when I cross something off my list. It is not unheard of for me to put something on my list, just to cross it off -----> my dirty secret :P These days, I feel like my list is getting longer and longer and no matter what I cross off, I swear "something" keeps adding to my list. Then by the end of the day, I am so bummed that I didn't get anything "done" for the day. Mind you, when I say nothing done, I fail to remind myself about all the other things that I do not deem "list worthy"...like cooking and creating meals, grocery shopping, homeschooling, playtime, etc.

Why is that we mothers sometimes forget to include those daily life activities on our To Do List? Like those things aren't work. Not work in a bad way, but something needs to be done to help the family function. As if those things are not important at all, when in reality, they are probably MORE important than having a clean toilet or laundry being finished. In hindsight, creating funtime with my kids or teaching them phonics & singing are things that will be remembered years to come NOT whether or not the lunch crumbs were swept up immediately after lunch.

Sometimes I need to remind myself to PUT DOWN the To Do List. Focus on whats important to you: Clean(er) House or Connection between mom & child? For me, I chose my kids. Hands down, no questions asked. I am not saying my house is a disaster zone because lets face it, my husband and his slight OCD'ness wouldn't allow that, but thats the awesome thing, he HELPS! But, my house is not showroom clean. Its lived in; comfortable; a place you can put your feet up and no one would mind.

So in other words, sometimes I just need a reminder that the chores will get done, eventually, but my kids, they won't stay this age forever. I need to cherish these times together, while they still want to be around me and think I am cool.

We had SO much fun at the farm. I knew what was "waiting" for me when I got home, but this was SO worth it! Look how happy they are!

The dreaded TRANSFER season!

First off, I'd like to say that I cannot believe that we have been in VA for over 3 years! I feel like it was just yesterday that we were putting in our dreamsheet for our transfer here. Ahh, its excited, nerve-racking, daunting, etc. I love the idea of seeing the country on the military's dime, however, this time around, its so much more difficult since we have older children.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the military life. every 2-4 years, you PCS (Permanent Change of Duty Station). Sometimes, you get to put in a "dream sheet" of places that are open that you would like to go to. They call it dream sheet because you're dreaming if you think you're going to get anywhere on it! Usually you put your list in November of the year before you move and then you wait...wait...and wait...until the detailer (the Warrant Officer who assigns you your next place) creates you orders. They have until March 31st of your transfer year to assign you orders, so hopefully you hear before then. Then somewhere between May-July, you move! Movers come, pack your stuff, and you leave! This lifestyle is not for everyone, however, I love it!

Last time we did this, C was just 5mths old. She had NO idea how much effort and work was put into creating our list. This time around, I had to research schools, recreational stuff, housing, etc. Its a lot of work on my end. However, out of 99 openings, we created a list of 30. Our top 10 picks are within NC, SC, FL, Netherlands, NY & VA. We're hoping that we get one of those picks!

Hubs & I tried to explain to our daughter, who is almost 4, about this whole experience. We used our best friends, who just recently transferred to OR as an example. What we were not expecting was the load of guilt that she served on a plate to us. "I dont want to leave my park and friends. The PARK will REALLLLY miss me. Maybe we can move to OR to be with L. Or maybe Grammy and Pappi's house." I told her its very exciting and we will find new parks, friends and all sorts of good stuff. She liked the idea of school too. I also explained that we will still have these friends from here and that they can come visit and have sleepovers, etc. She totally loved that. N, well, he will only be just 2 when we move, so I don't think he will miss the park as much as her....

I will miss this place that we've called home for the last few years. I would have never thought that I'd say that when we first got here. We live in the boonies, next to a farm. One stop light town. No Targets, Walmarts, malls for miles, including a $17 toll bridge. However, we've made this place a home. Made some great life long friendships, grown closer together as a family, enjoyed the nature and animals around our home and the closeness to the Chesapeake Bay. This place will always have a special place in our hearts.

Now we wait...this will go to the back of our minds for now. Hopefully in the new year, we will get orders to our new home. I knew what I was getting into when I married my husband, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Its most definitely an exciting lifestyle that suits this family :)

Days where you feel like your prayers are answered...finally!!

Ever have days, or in fact weeks or months maybe where you feel like everytime you're with your children, your are wishing you were transplanted somewhere else. Maybe a tropical island where you're waited on with a mojitio in hand?? (Maybe that might be just me...)

I pray for my children everyday. Sometimes, multiple times if needed. Most of the time its to help them stop acting out in their sinful ways. I mean, children are children and you need to help mold and shape those little beings into responsible, kind, warm-hearted, smart, etc, human beings that they were created to be. Sometimes, I feel like am smashing my head into a brick wall, repeatedly and praying the same things over and over...Then there are days like today.

Our day was set up to be a long one. I know, before I even leave, to get it into my head that meltdowns, troubles may happen. C has dance on Thursdays and we usually venture out to have lunch beforehand. We went to Chick-Fil-A and met with C's VERY BEST FRIEND, J! They love each other. Its so sweet to see their little friendship emerge. They ate, played, had a little spat, then played some more. Then off to dance...

Dance was great. She just loves it. I love to hear all about it and watch her "moves". Its especially funny to listen to what their teachers have to say about how they "dance". I cannot wait to watch a class.

C & J! Lil ballerinas in the making!

Afterwards, its grocery shopping. I know I am pushing the limit of their energy, but its something that needs to be done. All the meanwhile, my little N is just full of happiness and pointing to everything out the window to look at while trying to verbalize...too cute! Get to the grocery store and there is a huge sale! Strap the wee one to me in my Ergo and off we go. Long story short, 2 hours later, we emerge from there and I was thinking dang! I am pretty sure my patience and prayers were answered.

Not one meltdown, crying, etc!! C was such a big helper. N just happily was strapped to me. No fussing, no crying, no I WANT THIS! I was so pleased. My day was so much easier. I thanked them tremendously and gave them "special treats" (They think frozen grapes are candy te te) Its amazing how much easier your day is when these kind of days are like this.

Pretty sure, my luck will run out BUT I will still keep praying that these days, no matter how few and far inbetween they are, will still happen again. Because if I don't pray for my children, who will?

Why I love homeschooling

This marks our 2nd week of homeschooling my oldest, C who is 3. *C would say almost 4, c'mon! I did a lot of looking around and researching on what type of schooling I wanted to do for her, and chose Abeka K-4 program for her was the best. Its a really neat program. Some is her in a "classroom" with other students watching the teacher. The other parts are myself teaching her the curriculum. I was going to try my own curriculum, but this worked best for her.

Aside from the fact that I think homeschooling is a great option for us as a family, I am very pleased, thus far with the amount of information my almost 4 year old is retaining! She learns bible studies, phonics, creative activities, lanuage development, etc. Lots of songs, stories and other fun stuff to keep her attention. Its maybe only about 90 mins a day with plenty of stretching and getting our sillies out! The beauty of homeschooling is that if we have a busy day planned or C is "moody", we can postpone for another day! I LOVE IT!

If you would have asked me, almost 4 years ago, if I was going to homeschool my child, I would have said NO! Heck no! even. But, the way the American school systems are here, C will be almost 6 years old before she even heads to kindergarten. I couldn't believe that considering I was C's age when I first entered J-K (junior kindergarten). I have had chats with plenty of mothers and we go back and forth about whats the "appropriate" age for kids to enter into school. Personally, I feel that almost 6 is way too late to just be starting her educational endevours. I'm not sure why those rules and ages are in place, but considering how fast she has caught on with 1 week of homeschooling, I believe she will be lightyears ahead of other students her age.

Blah, Blah, Blah, I am sure I will be sparking something in someone who reads this.

On a side note, N loves when we sing in school. He at 14mths, loves to dance and clap along with us. I think he's also getting a lot of out homeschooling as well.

I will say, homeschooling is not for everyone. Its a lot of work and prep, but well worth it! Its definitely for our family! :)

Start to a new idea.

Why do a blog, you ask?

I know lots of wonderful people who do interesting and fun blogs. I always thought to myself, why would anyone want to hear about my rants and raves of my daily life and thoughts? Same reason I like to read others blogs; so you have that "Oh wow, you feel that way too" moment.

I sometimes feel like I am the only person on the face of this planet whos children have a mental breakdown in the middle of Target after a long day. Well, NO! I am not alone. There are others who's children throw themselves on the floor as well...so for all you people who need that, ahhh moment, here you go!

I live in a very rural area. Like one stop light, one grocery store rural area. Infact, my backyard is a farmers field, full of ripe butterbeans! So whenever I need my fix of civilazation or, Target, I make my way across a $17 dollar toll bridge...I know right!?! $17!!? Yes, $17!! So, you can see with that amount of money, plus gas, to be spent to get my fix on, I better well make it worth it.

After a few pit stops to random stores, including a sports store so the hubs can indulge on a very expensive golfing item, we arrive at our very last store, Target. Just wanted to go around and look at what was out for the fall. Well, my children had a different idea of what was fun. My daughter, C, my lovely oldest child, so desperately wanted to look at her trains. She is obsessed with trains. A few years back, I let her look at her trains while shopping and since then, its become a ritual. If I could take it back, I sure as heck would.

We looked at those trains. The same ones we look at everytime we go there. Then at costumes so she can look "fancy" for halloween. Then I needed to grab something for her homeschooling. You would have thought the world ended. She instantaeously started crying. Which triggered my sweet 14mth old, N, to start crying too. I am counting backwards from 10, to keep myself from not crying, and take a deep breath. C throws herself, in such a graceful fashion, on the floor hurting herself and making her cry for real. Long story short, we were "those" people at Target today.

Ahh, the glamour of overtired and cranky children. Can't help yourselves but give them a huge hug and say, if you don't pick yourself off the floor, so help me...(you fill in the blank)

Hope this made you feel like, woah, you're not alone!

Look at these sweet faces...hard to believe that they'd be so cranky!